Music Therapy for Couples to Help Build Your Relationship

Increasing the Bond and Improving the Relationship Between Couples

When people hear “couples therapy", they tend to cringe or worry. Although this is the typical response, not all reasons for couples therapy are bad. Sometimes, couples therapy may be used to relieve stress or anxieties that the couple has together. On the other hand, if there is a problem between a couple, therapy is the first step to making things better.

Regardless of the reason why a couple may be deciding to give music therapy a try - it can help benefit both them as individuals and their relationship. In hopes to remove the stigma around “couples therapy” and share the positive outcomes that music therapy has to offer, we will discuss music therapies for couples.

We will address the reasons why some individuals choose music as their form of therapy. Also, we will be sharing some relationship-building activities created by music therapists.

Why Would Couples Choose Music Therapy?

There are many reasons why a couple may turn to therapy. Whether there is trouble in the relationship or the couple is facing a challenge together, they can benefit from music therapy.

Couples who use music therapy receive treatment similar to what an individual would. However, since music therapy is based around accomplishing goals, the goals a couple might aim for may differ from what an individual would like to obtain. If a couple is finding problems to release or express certain emotions or feelings to each other, music therapy may be the key to helping their problems.

Music therapy is different from traditional therapy. So if traditional therapy isn’t working for a couple, or they want to try something that doesn't necessarily feel like therapy, they could use music therapy. Either way, the end goal is to resolve the problems and hope that the couple can happily continue the relationship.

Relationship Building Activities For Couples To Try

Just like in school, when attending therapy you will often receive homework. However, this homework in the long run could save a troubling relationship or marriage. So to save you from worrying about what type of homework you may receive, we’ll share some of the activities you and your partner may be told to try.

Take a Dance Lesson Together

Slow dancing can be seen as an intimate thing and taking a class together is good for several reasons. Dancing together will cause the couple to work as a team. The couple will have to move together and depending on the dance style - follow and lead each other.

Once the couple masters the dance steps, hopefully, a strong bond will form because they achieved something together. In some cases, the passion for each other may rekindle because when dancing, it seems to take people out of the world around them. Therefore the couple will feel as though they are the only thing in the world that matters.

old couple dancing in living room
By dancing together, these two are connecting and working together. Image courtesy of Rawpixel.

Learn to Play a Music Instrument Together

When a couple plays music together it can help them stay together. Playing an instrument together makes the couple work as a team.

Instead of turning a fun activity into a competition, the couple should try learning a piano duet like Heart and Soul. This way the couple will have to work together to get their music to harmonize together. When the couple masters it and performs it in front of their music therapist, it can help them take the next steps.

girl playing piano while sitting on man's lap.
Working together can help recreate a bond. Image courtesy of Stocksy United.

Listen to Their Song

The music therapist may recommend that a couple listens to their song they danced to on their wedding night or a song they both really love. By doing this, the couple will be able to share their love for a certain song and could revoke old memories.

For example, if a couple were to listen to songs that were popular when they first started dating, it could cause them to remember old memories about their relationship when it was younger. This could help bring the couple positive and happy memories they have with one another.

woman and man kissing with headphones in
Listening to an old song from before can help rekindle the love in a relationship. Image courtesy of Stocksy United.

Write a Song For Each Other

Each individual may be told to write some song lyrics. In the lyrics, they could share how they are feeling or maybe something they want to tell their partner but are too afraid to say directly to them.

With the assistance of a music therapist, they can sing it to their partner. In therapy, the music therapist will play some music or help develop it into a song so they can sing it. The music therapist can also record the song so the couple can relisten to it whenever needed.

Singing Together

Another activity a couple may be told to do is sing together. Singing can help by lifting a person’s mood and releasing the “feel good” neurochemicals like endorphins. When two people sing together, it forces them to work together and causes them to form a bond.

Singing in unison has the potential to synchronize breathing and the heart rate of individuals. By singing in unison, the bond between two people is already being forced together.

Hopefully you and your significant other can try these five activities together. While these are activities your music therapist may recommend trying - music therapy doesn’t start unless a certified music therapist is working with the clients.

These activities can help individuals regardless of their relationship length or what issues the couple may be having. If you and your partner are interested in seeking professional help, reach out to Incadence and they will match you with a music therapist to fit your needs.

Edited by Cara Jernigan on January 17, 2021

Lydia Bernardo
Lydia enjoys playing piano and spending time outside.
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